Uddrag - Europas Børn I - 07/03/23

Schlösser lænede sig tilbage i sit sæde og lod hans borddame komme til, den unge pige havde han samlet op ved parlamentets have. Hendes spinkle hånd knyttede sig forsigtigt, ringene der fuldførte to fingre og hang om rødderne på de andre, fik det til at gyse i ham.

 

"Ja, mine venner," sagde han og tog sit glas til munden. "Der vil være rigeligt med udfordringer, men, jeg garanterer at afkastet vil være det værd."

 

Egelandh rettede på sine briller og justerede på sin borddames greb. "Ikke så hurtigt," messede han og hun satte tempoet ned. "Vil der være meget vildmarksliv?"

 

"Bestemt," svarede Schlösser og koncentrerede sig om at holde igen. For enden af bordet havdde 

 

Nabukiyev fritaget sig selv for samtalen, hovedet lænet tilbage og fjernt summende. "Det er jo etableringen af Europa på ny, tæmmelsen af.... ugh...." han bed sig i læben og tillod sin borddame en pause til vand og mad.

 

"Det er anden gang," svarede Lykke, mens hans grinede slesk. "Problemer?"

 

"Ingenlunde," Schlösser rømmede sig. "Men se på hende."

 

"Det gør jeg," svarede Egelandh og nikkede mod Schlössers borddame. "Med største fornøjelse. Men tilbage til det her med vildmarken. Ser I, mine herrer, jeg er jo glad for det naturlige. I ser nok at min veninde her er lige dele ujævn, behåret og lumsk som en bjergtrold."

 

"Bestemt," svarede bordet, med undtagelse af Nabukiyev, der havde instrueret sin borddame til at gøre sig klar. Hun sad koncentreret og arbejdede, med servietten klar.

"Vil det være som mit shelter oppe mod nord? Ser I, jeg har jo en del erfaring." Egelandh lænede sig bagover.

 

"På sin vis og dog ikke," Schlösser afbrød sin borddames pause. "Det vil være primitivt. Det minimale."

"Rindende vand? Afløb? Et bibliotek? Verrandaer, hvad med forplejning og ikke mindst adgang til natteliv? Mit shelter er netop udbygget, med toilet, bibliotek og ikke mindst køkken og en lille hybel til assistenterne."

 

"Hvor primitivt." Lykke lukkede øjnene i dyb koncentration. "Og vin? Vil der være vin?"

 

"Mine herrer," Schlösser så mod Nabukiyev der var begyndt at hive efter vejret. "Vi vil være som Remulus og Romulus, der bygger det nye rige - det vil ikke være nemt, men ulven vis bryst vi diger ved er vores kollektive kapital og betydning som frelsere af den Europæiske ånd. Det er KUN forventeligt at I ønsker det anerkendt. Så jeg siger, byg hvad i har brug for, men intet mere. For skal vi i sandhed begynde forfra skal vi begynde fra en bund af sten og bygge et imperie."

 

"Vel talt," Egelandh rømmede sig. "De basale fornødenheder og et sted de kan bo." Han slog ud i en dybfølt latter.

 

"Til evigheden og det nye rige," sagde Lykke og løftede sit glas. Imens Nabukiyev mumlede, krummede sammen og hans borddame gjorde sit for ikke at sværte det nyrenoverede gulv fra 1300 tallet.

 

"Og til Nabukiyev, det betaler." Schlösser løftede sit glas og den arme Nabukiyev faldt sammen, i dyb søvn, mens borddame trak i sin kåbe for at hente hans pung til at tømme på ny.

 

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Europas Børn

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Kill...killl...kill.... Jason.... kill....killl....killl

So! 

Its your girl Elektra, back with another update that nobody asked for, but damn it she registered this blog and intends to use it on the off chance that it carries anthropological significance, when the good people at Riegel VII have to dig through the ruins of human civilization.

I made a game. 

Its called "Camp Kill" 

Its about horny camp counselors getting murdered in the woods.

And that's pretty much all there is to it. Sort of. But you came here for game dev stuff and I feel obliged to like tell you about "the process" and how I approach game design.

Its a threefold process essentially.

1. get a stupid idea

2. figure out a central mechanic 

3. write a bunch of shitty jokes

For my money. What makes games great is intuitive design. "The Dragon Game" is good-ish, because it features some very simple and intuitive mechanics (for the most part) and can easily be picked up and play for hours without much introduction to the grindier side of things. Essentially it comes down to super light math with dice and whether or not you have advantage. That's it - that's the worlds "greatest" roleplaying game.

So when I design I try to disregard all that fancy talk about "positioning in combat" or how far a character can move in a round. Its an artifact from the days of wargaming and a surefire way to take your great RPG idea and fuck it sideways with pointless rules that gatekeep fun.

Game design is easy. Honestly. You don't need to consider every route possible to take, you just need to concern yourself with building a framework that directs the game along a certain path and then decide how much of a narcissist you are, when it comes to everything else.

You don't need to specify movement allotment if you just make it so that everyone can move what seems reasonable. There's no point in having action points when everyone just performs actions intuitively. What makes sense in the current scenario is allowed. Initiative? Never heard of her. In my games you do stuff when you want to, cooperatively with the CM and the your co-players.

The necessity to put rules in place for literally everything, is to sow distrust. So don't do that. We're here to have fun, not to be little Narcs harping on each others fun.

So it's all about creating a central mechanic that influences everything else and make it so that everything you do and say, refers back to said mechanic. Super fucking simple.

In this game you flip cards and try to find matches in order to overcome skill challenges. Fail to match? Disaster nears. Tied to this is a karma system that influences whether or not the murderer can strike. See? It took me five minutes and we've already got a mechanic that guides the narrative along. It's literally so easy.

Try not to get bogged down in specifics and overthinking. Create some form of pivoting point and build from there. "Yes Elektra, I knew that" you say, but in my MANY discussions with the nerdfolks, I have discovered that many regard game development as some kind of "big and mysterious" entity that must be sacrificed unto. Fuck all that.

So that's essentially how I approach it. A sort of holistic approach where everything is neatly bundled together and anchored to the central mechanic. Its elegant, sort of. Not perfect, but elegant enough that it can be a vehicle for four hours of fun.

Which is the goal here. To keep you entertained while maiming your friends.

Anywho. "Camp Kill" is currently being transformed from a technical document to a rulebook and if I am not going to be a lazy bitch - then its likely the game might be released within February. Playtesting pending. So keep an eye out over on Itch. 

Until then.

Stay out of the woods. Jason lives.

 

 

Time Is Us

I made a game.

Its about time traveling and self discovery.

Get it here

We are all made of stars.

Woes of an anal queen - or the story of how I turned my frustrations into a game.

So this is going to be up and readable long before the game itself is actually a thing you can spend your allowance on. But I felt like devirginizing my blog by talking about my ass and the game I made about it. If you're sitting there going "Whoa, thats a bit much" - then clearly this isn't the developer for you, but atleast I get to sate my exhibitionistic needs by having you gawk.

So I would classify myself as an anal queen. In the sense that I really really really like sex in the butt. But it is not without its troubs. For one, I drink ALOT of coffee (third pot of the day brewing as we speak) - secondly I'm anorectic (coming back to that) - I am also an insomniac so the notion of a sleep schedule is LAUGHABLE and my body is not having any of it - and lastly I have chronic stress and eat like a fucking teenage bachelor with a porn addiction. Which is to say, most of my cooking is "stuff you can put in the oven without preparation."

All in all it leaves my body in a constant state of existential dread and what that does to a womans bowels is... not exactly something that lends itself to ad hoc anal. Being anorectic also means that the body holds on to everything AS LONG AS IT CAN - in the periods where I eat like an egg a day - and then suddenly and without having it goes into full on "flush" mode and the stuff that comes out is... to put it mildly... Lovecraftian. These days its better, steady eating and firmer stool.

But I'll be fucked if my body isn't being a little fuck about getting empty and clean. My prep regiment is as its always been. I calculate how long its been since I've gone to deliver the Shoggoths to the pool. Then douche, evacuate, douche, evacuate - eventually it feels clean and then we're off to the races. And then I get going, I'm into it and my body is like "Oh by the way I wasn't done" and then its a run run run to the bathroom - clean off - wait thirty minutes for everything to settle - back at it again. The other day I had done that for I swear two fucking hours and when I FINALLY got into it and everything was as it should be - wouldn't you know it - I had a minor accident.

And its frustrating and I feel that all bottoms can attest to this. You're more or less always nervous you're gonna shit yourself and you CONSTANTLY withdraw to inspect and make sure that its not the kind of brown that's icky, but the kind of brown that happens when lube merges with the lining of the place that summon forth the elder gods.

And then. In a spat of capitalistic fervor. I thought to myself. "This is a good idea for a game."

And lo and behold. "Release me... But not in that way" was born.

In essence its a game about risk management. You are trying to have a righteous orgasm, but you also don't want the experience foiled by the appearance of foul things. You have three values that vex through the game. SKILL, ORGASM, OH SHIT. Essentially the game works by rolling dice that inform the narrative and then as the game progresses you incur penalties for various reasons.

Its essentially Darkest Dungeons meets my browser history.

And I feel there's something in there about the reality of queer life which is my jam. Explaining to all the heteros out there, what its actually like to be a transwoman who has no other option for penetrative sex - than the fetted calf that is the backdoor. Hopefully someone reads this mess and starts thinking about it and lo, for I hath contributed to the world.

Mechanically its narratively driven and the risk management influences the story (or encounter) - I'm also thinking about an "Orgy mode" in which the stakes are that much higher because you're taking on six dudes at the same time.

Point is we need realistic talks about the realities of the lives of those who bottom. Especially transwomen who, teachable moment, has had their sexual desires and urges silenced by the cishet majority - because alot of you don't like the idea of AMABs dressing in lingerie and getting fucked.

The game will be up when I've had the mental wherewithall to draw a believable, gaping, asshole. Because art matters!
Take care of your butts.

//Empress