Woes of an anal queen - or the story of how I turned my frustrations into a game.

So this is going to be up and readable long before the game itself is actually a thing you can spend your allowance on. But I felt like devirginizing my blog by talking about my ass and the game I made about it. If you're sitting there going "Whoa, thats a bit much" - then clearly this isn't the developer for you, but atleast I get to sate my exhibitionistic needs by having you gawk.

So I would classify myself as an anal queen. In the sense that I really really really like sex in the butt. But it is not without its troubs. For one, I drink ALOT of coffee (third pot of the day brewing as we speak) - secondly I'm anorectic (coming back to that) - I am also an insomniac so the notion of a sleep schedule is LAUGHABLE and my body is not having any of it - and lastly I have chronic stress and eat like a fucking teenage bachelor with a porn addiction. Which is to say, most of my cooking is "stuff you can put in the oven without preparation."

All in all it leaves my body in a constant state of existential dread and what that does to a womans bowels is... not exactly something that lends itself to ad hoc anal. Being anorectic also means that the body holds on to everything AS LONG AS IT CAN - in the periods where I eat like an egg a day - and then suddenly and without having it goes into full on "flush" mode and the stuff that comes out is... to put it mildly... Lovecraftian. These days its better, steady eating and firmer stool.

But I'll be fucked if my body isn't being a little fuck about getting empty and clean. My prep regiment is as its always been. I calculate how long its been since I've gone to deliver the Shoggoths to the pool. Then douche, evacuate, douche, evacuate - eventually it feels clean and then we're off to the races. And then I get going, I'm into it and my body is like "Oh by the way I wasn't done" and then its a run run run to the bathroom - clean off - wait thirty minutes for everything to settle - back at it again. The other day I had done that for I swear two fucking hours and when I FINALLY got into it and everything was as it should be - wouldn't you know it - I had a minor accident.

And its frustrating and I feel that all bottoms can attest to this. You're more or less always nervous you're gonna shit yourself and you CONSTANTLY withdraw to inspect and make sure that its not the kind of brown that's icky, but the kind of brown that happens when lube merges with the lining of the place that summon forth the elder gods.

And then. In a spat of capitalistic fervor. I thought to myself. "This is a good idea for a game."

And lo and behold. "Release me... But not in that way" was born.

In essence its a game about risk management. You are trying to have a righteous orgasm, but you also don't want the experience foiled by the appearance of foul things. You have three values that vex through the game. SKILL, ORGASM, OH SHIT. Essentially the game works by rolling dice that inform the narrative and then as the game progresses you incur penalties for various reasons.

Its essentially Darkest Dungeons meets my browser history.

And I feel there's something in there about the reality of queer life which is my jam. Explaining to all the heteros out there, what its actually like to be a transwoman who has no other option for penetrative sex - than the fetted calf that is the backdoor. Hopefully someone reads this mess and starts thinking about it and lo, for I hath contributed to the world.

Mechanically its narratively driven and the risk management influences the story (or encounter) - I'm also thinking about an "Orgy mode" in which the stakes are that much higher because you're taking on six dudes at the same time.

Point is we need realistic talks about the realities of the lives of those who bottom. Especially transwomen who, teachable moment, has had their sexual desires and urges silenced by the cishet majority - because alot of you don't like the idea of AMABs dressing in lingerie and getting fucked.

The game will be up when I've had the mental wherewithall to draw a believable, gaping, asshole. Because art matters!
Take care of your butts.

//Empress